I really should be diving into an annotated bibliography of Hamlet, but something which merits immediate discussion has just come to my attention.
WordPress users have access to a fairly comprehensive “Stats” page for their blog. When I log in, I can see how many overall hits I’ve gotten that day as compared to past days, which pages were viewed, and how many times each one was viewed. I can see which links viewers clicked to get to my blog, and which links people clicked on once they got here. (Of course, all this information is totally anonymous.)
However, one tool has been slowly providing more and more entertainment over the past months, and has now reached a point of total hilarity: the search terms which have led people to my blog.
Many of the search terms are quite normal. Some people searched for “Athens” and must have clicked through a bazillion pages of search results to get here, as I’m pretty low-profile and mention Athens only a handful of times. Some other search terms are totally random, and I can’t imagine how they led people here; I bet the person who searched for “1/2″ x 125′ x 12″ bubble wrap (large bubbles)” was pretty freakin’ disappointed.
But yesterday, a new search term claimed the number one spot on the list. It’s now the top search term that has led people to my blog, in its cumulative history beginning about one year ago.
What is this magical term, the buzzword which is apparently inextricably linked to Wrap Me in Phyllo Dough?
Naked Greek men.
Oh yes. As of today, “naked Greek men” is the top search that leads people to my blog; it just beat out “Santorini, Greece.” A whopping 64 people have arrived here by entering “naked Greek men” into their search engine of choice. What their motivation for searching for said term is, we’ll never know (thank goodness). But now, more than “Fulbright Greece blog,” more than “How to Wrap Phyllo,” and more than even “Wrap Me in Phyllo Dough” itself, it’s people looking for Greek dudes in the buff who wind up here.
Some of you may remember a post entitled “My First Time at the Greek Theatre, in All its Naked Glory!” The post detailed an unexpected adventure I had with seeing a play in Greek for the first time, which happened to be quite experimental and featured a male protagonist who was naked for the entire show. This was made even sillier by the fact that I was sitting in the center of the front row, on a cushion on the floor. I had fun writing the post, and it was one of the most viewed posts of this blog’s early days.
Little did I know it would be so incriminating.
As a joke, I also tagged “naked Greek men” on my post about the ridiculous things that happened to me while riding buses in Greece, as I tell the story of seeing a man drop trow in the middle of the street in downtown Thessaloniki. But that still makes only two instances. Who knew that would be enough to tell Google that my blog was a hub for Greek porn?
Further, what do these searchers think when they get to my blog? Are they disappointed? Probably. Unless I happen to have an equally hilarious adventure pertaining to the subject in the future, I have no plans to further analyze the topic of naked Greek men; and I certainly, purposefully failed to include any pictures. Yikes.
Other Honorable Mentions on the List of Search Terms Leading People to My Blog, Though Perhaps Not as Popular:
- “Travel playlist Indigo Girls,” 22 (Must be from this.)
- “Turkish boobs,” 4 (Good lord! My blog is more obscene than I thought! This one has to be because of this post.)
- “Zip up his wetsuit,” 4 (No idea. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)
- “Pickuptrucks.com,” 4 (First of all, why would you not just put this in as the URL? And second, how the heck did you get here?)
- “Wonderful Greece,” 3 (Aww.)
- “Sweden Pipi,” 2 (How do they know I look like Pippi Longstocking?)
- “Insane phyllo nmrs bath info watch,” 2 (…)
- “Weird black and white art,” 2
- “White girl eating Chinese Dumplings,” 2
- “Giant checkered rabbit,” 2
- “Dirty Russian Road,” 2
- “Gingerus Maximus,” 2 (I totally thought I had coined that one! Darn!)
- “Dirty grain godown,” 1 (??)
- “Using fringe tableskirts to wrap a float,” 1 (“Wrap Me in Fringe Tableskirts” could be a winner, don’t you think?)
So, if you’re here because you’re spending your Saturday on a Google quest for Greek gods missing their fig leaf, I’m so sorry to disappoint. Try going to see a play in Greek. It worked for me.
Ciao for niao,